Language Learning and Anxiety: A Conversation about Mental Health and Growth

Performance anxiety and stage fright are common when speaking in a person’s first language, but can be even worse when speaking a second language in front of a group! In fact, in my experience teaching, most English language learners experience some form of performance anxiety or perfectionism. Thoughts like “Other people’s English is so much better than mine,” or “I will never master English” are common. A lot can be at stake since language performance is often linked to career advancement. Yet anxiety and fear can stand in the way of progress. It can bring about an increased heart rate, negative thoughts and a suddenly blank mind. But what can we do about performance anxiety and stage fright? I have decided to talk to two therapists, my two very good friends Cara Curcio and Fiona Griffin https://fionagriffintherapy.com who are licensed clinical mental health professionals, to get to the bottom of what could help English learners overcome their fears and anxieties connected with language performance.

Marike: Hi Cara! Hi Fiona! Thanks for speaking with me!

Cara: Of course!

Fiona: My pleasure.

M: I am happy to be talking about anxiety with learning a new language. I see it so often with my students.

C: Understandable, learning a new language and trying to communicate can be anxiety provoking for sure.

M: I notice that many language learners find themselves mentally blocked; they can become trapped in a cycle of negativity. Their negative thoughts can become a self-fulfilling prophecy sometimes, and they feel like they want to give up. 

C: I think that these negative thought patterns are really important to notice and to reframe. 

M: I agree. I always tell my students to focus on their successes but for a lot of clients that is extremely hard--they focus more on their mistakes. 

C: I think that mindfulness can be really helpful here. Mindfulness is a kind of active meditation of focusing on the present moment and noticing what is going on in one’s body, in one’s surroundings, and in one’s mind. If a person is able to notice the negative thoughts coming up, they can detach in a sense and say to themselves, “there my mind goes again! Being really critical and negative!”

M: I see how noticing those negative thoughts can help a student take them less seriously. How can they also be focusing on the positive? Do you think that the concept of a growth mindset could be helpful here?

C: Absolutely. I think it is important with mindfulness to be able to remind oneself that they are a student, and learning can be messy and take time. If a student can work to accept that learning is a process, that can take pressure off to be perfect and can then help them appreciate the journey of learning a language, and knowing that even as they make mistakes that is part of the journey of learning and growing in their skills.  

M: Do you have any concrete mindfulness strategies my students could incorporate into their lives?

F: As Cara mentioned it is about noticing what is going on in the present moment. When we are worried about the future or stuck in the memory of a past disappointment or failure, it is impossible to be present with what is happening right now, both inside and outside of you. Just like learning a language, mindfulness takes practice and there are simple ways you can incorporate practice into your day. You can take 5 deep breaths and notice the breath as it enters and leaves your lungs. You can place your feet on the ground and palms on your legs and notice these sensations. You can pay attention to the sound you hear closest to you and the one that’s farthest away. Or you can go on a mindful walk and focus on everything your senses are taking in. You can even use mindfulness while doing the dishes or taking a phone call. You don’t have to sit for an hour in meditation! With greater practice you will become more aware of your internal reactions to external stimuli and will even begin to notice how your own thought patterns tend to lead you away from the here-and-now and practice bringing them back.

M: Could you comment a little more on the concept of a growth mindset?

F: A fixed or closed mindset often stems from a need for approval. Most people grow up with an expectation to meet the approval of others--parents, teachers, or society at large. In fact, making decisions from this mindset can have the opposite effect of what is intended because unknowingly we trap ourselves in a perfectionistic, limited idea of what success looks like and thereby close ourselves off to new possibilities. In a growth or expansion mindset, we actually widen our opportunity for success by taking risks and meeting new challenges. In order to do this we often have to set aside our fears of failure and of disappointing others. This can be very hard, however, especially if a person was raised in a culture that emphasizes gaining the approval of others. Luckily for those studying English in the U.S., American culture tends to somewhat encourage and embrace the growth mindset.

An axiom many of my clients swear by is “progress not perfection.” It may seem counterintuitive, but perfection can be stagnant, even boring. I’m reminded of the Japanese concept of Wabi-Sabi which promotes the idea of finding beauty in imperfection and flaws. We have to train our minds to turn towards ourselves with gentleness and acceptance in order to appreciate our unique human selves, including our flaws.

What a lot of us weren’t taught as children is that in order to learn and grow, we have to be allowed to make mistakes. I sometimes coach my clients to purposely do something imperfectly during their week, something very small, just to practice being okay with not getting it 100% right.

M: I love how you are talking about embracing imperfection here. I firmly believe that it is essential to find joy in learning a new language and that by maybe even welcoming imperfection into our lives, it can be easier to find that joy.

C: I agree. Once learning a language can be approached as more of a mindful journey rather than an impossible summit that requires complete perfection, there is room for some fun and some joy!

M: JOY! Explain more!

C: I know I have found that in my own language learning journeys I have found joy through listening to music I like in my target language and looking up the lyrics I don’t know and then working to memorize the lyrics. It is empowering to be able to sing along to a fun song and understand the meaning!

M: I find that joy can also be a part of the journey on an emotional level. I often tell clients that they should always think of their goal instead of the hard work that inevitably is part of learning a language. That they should embrace the process and enjoy it every step of the way. I also tell them that they should picture themselves in situations where they will have achieved their goals. These situations should be positive mental pictures the student could always use when in doubt of their progress. For example, they could picture themselves giving a successful presentation in English even imagining the positive emotions they would be feeling in that situation such as pride, excitement, and yes also joy.

On that note, thank you so much Fiona and Cara for talking to me. I really enjoyed our conversation and also hope that it will help English learners everywhere to find joy and to be gentle with themselves during their English learning journey.

C: Thank you. It was a real pleasure talking to you both.

F: Yes, thank you, and I sincerely hope this will help your clients with their language challenges.